We all live three lives: a public one, a private and our secret life. Most of us tend to work on one/the other or both of the former and ignore or work around the latter.
When we are in a relationship, at first we only share our private lives. As the relationship deepens, we cannot help but be affected and effect each other with our secret lives. This is not conscious.
This hidden part, this is where are neuroses, our 'demons' tend to be buried. Our secret lives are secret for a reason. We are protective, if not ashamed of them and having someone so close to your inner core is frightening. This is partly why familiarity breeds contempt.
To further a or any relationship, it our duty as a Lover to strengthen our 'inner core' as it were in order to deepen the relationship. Tame our neuroses, lay the demons down on the talking couch. Keep time for yourself to dwell in the 'crazy' continue to have a third secret life. But temper yourself into your private life so that you be Love & Healing for those who share private lives with you.